


Selfish or Self Preservation?

by mythoughtsaretroubled



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Gen, and more characters might have bigger roles, but duke plays a bigger role than intended, but evi lives, i might add more later - Freeform, ie lockdown, its mostly about evi, lines up with canon at the start, rewriting episode 2.09, this is a low key epiosde rewrite, this is looking at her backstory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:14:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24574390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythoughtsaretroubled/pseuds/mythoughtsaretroubled
Summary: Evi contemplates her life in Haven
Relationships: Duke Crocker/Evidence "Evi" Ryan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3





	Selfish or Self Preservation?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still mad about Evi's death but also the lack of backstory she has and how like, all her scenes are about Duke??? So I channeled that rage into a fic!!

Evidence Ryan did not rely on anyone. She learned long ago the only person who to trust was herself.

Even from when she was a child, she knew her mom would never be home after school, if at all. Her father was long gone. Teachers ignored her and the other kids . . . well, she learned to talk quickly and run faster. As she got older, she learned to lie. And she was a magnificent liar. 

High school is where she learned many important lessons. Like, confidence was the key to a good grift. Picking a lock took patience. Always stay near the exit. And if you smiled enough, no one knew you were sad. 

She hadn’t dated for fun, either. She had fun while she dated, but she was careful with who she dated. The men who used their wealth to show off were easy marks. She didn't steal from all of them but half the time, they didn't realize what she took. These were the men who told Evi how gorgeous she was, how exotic, so exquisite. Once upon a time, she had liked those compliments. Now, she hated them. She was not some doll, not just a pretty face. The men who said these things always thought they weren’t racist because they wanted to sleep with her, as if that could ever be true. The only thing they signaled to her was a man who needed to be separated from his wallet. 

She was a con artist, and a brilliant one at that. She worked hard to be this good. And none of them were capable of appreciating her talent.

And maybe that’s what made Duke Crocker different. He saw that in her and instead of trying to change her, he revealed a similar soul. They were survivors, mortals who turned into trickster gods. Together, she was a little convinced they could do anything. 

Which, of course, is why she betrayed him. Never trust a man, is what her mom said. And there she was, trusting Duke, who was as much of a con artist as her. If she didn’t turn on him, he would surely turn on her.

She broke her own heart, before he could break it. She only listened to the voicemail he left on her phone once.

"I thought I could trust you. Isn’t that what marriage is supposed to mean?" He wasn't wrong. 

Her heart ached with his, so when she was told she could help him, make his life better, she agreed. Because she owed him this, didn’t she?

But Evi forgot she needed to put herself first. And to treat her friends like partners and not marks.

She wanted to be a good person. She was trying. And she thought by making amends, by helping the person she had cared about and hurt the most was how she could become one.

But she only hurt him more. And he wasn’t even trying to understand her. She wanted to do something good, they told her she would be doing good. She didn’t like this Reverend Driscoll but she believed him. He had a terrible poker face and a weakness for whiskey. But he knew things about Duke.

“Fine!!!” She shouted and she didn’t even care. He shouted first. “When this is all over, I’ll leave.” Evi was good at leaving. She could do that and he would stop hurting because of her. She wanted to belong somewhere. Her heart ached for the friendships she would never have, the steady relationships filled with trust. Duke was the closest she had and he hated her now. 

She stared at her hands, completely stained black. They looked alien to her and she wanted to scrub them until she saw her warm brown skin. This place was so weird and she still couldn't find a place in it. A haven for people who were unlike any other and they rejected her. 

The blonde cop came over. Evi still didn't know how she felt about her. Audrey Parker, she reminded herself. The outsider who walked in and found a home here. She sat down next to Evi and took her hand. "We haven't really had a chance to talk, have we?" 

Evi didn't have the energy for games. "Well, I'm your friend's evil wife, I didn't think you liked me." 

Audrey didn't smile. "I don't know you well enough to hate you." 

"You don't know me well enough to like me," Evi said. 

"Let me help you. Let us help you." Audrey squeezed her hand. "This is what we do." 

"We?" Evi scoffed. "You, the grumpy cop, and my husband? No, thank you." She leaned her head back. "I'll be out of here when this is all over." 

"Ignore Duke," Audrey said. "He's hurt but he has no excuse for yelling at you like that. I know you were trying to help." 

"I was," Evi said softly. "I really thought I was doing something good." 

"I think you should stay." Evi finally looked Audrey in the eye, and she looked so open and vulnerable, Evi felt her heart skip a beat. 

They were silent for a long minute, holding each other's gaze. "Tell you what. You fix this insane situation, and I'll consider." 

Audrey smiled, bright and a little sad. "You'll stay at my place. None of this hotel nonsense. Now, lie down, you need to rest. This thing cannot be healthy." She handed Evi her jacket, balled up to be a pillow, rubbing her shoulder when she finally lay down. 

Evi thought about this weird town, the weird people, all this nonsense and . . . she didn’t hate it. She was never bored here. Every day was an adventure. Sure, she almost died a few times, hell, she might even be dying now, but she had a fondness for this brand of crazy. Between raining frogs and murderous trees, she felt like she was living in a movie. The kind of movie where she could outsmart the problem, if she wasn’t alone. She could rely on people, maybe not trust, but rely on them to try and fight for their collective survival. It was . . . fun, in a twisted way. And why did she care what Duke thought? She tried to make amends and he rejected them. If she made it out alive, if Audrey saved her, she could stay. 

And with her mind made up, with the comfortable fact that people were trying to save her, she fell asleep.

She woke up to see Duke sitting across from her. She groaned. “What now?” 

“Well, you are no longer dying and I thought you would want to know.” His tone was haughty but she saw his hands shaking. 

“Were you worried about me?” Duke hated her now, why would he worry about someone he hated? 

“You were dying,” Duke said. 

“And?” This did not explain his worry. 

“I don’t want you to die, Evi.” He sounded exhausted. 

Evi stood up. “I don’t want you to die, either.” She grabbed her things, and headed towards the door. 

“You don’t have to leave,” Duke called after her. 

“Wasn’t planning on it,” she said over her shoulder.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!!!


End file.
